Sunday, December 1, 2013

Fighting Frustration

Today I woke up in funk.  I wasn't really in a funk but I was headed in that direction.  Today I chose to be annoyed with the world and annoyed with myself.  I got ready for church.  Annoyed.  I got the kids ready.  Annoyed.  I cooked breakfast.  Annoyed.  I went on about my morning business but I was just annoyed.  I was having one of my "We need to be doing more" moments and I was letting it get the best of me.

The thoughts that ran through my head:

I don't know what's wrong with people.  We should be helping people.  I want to start a soup kitchen. We need to be doing something.  Why don't people want to help each other?  Why do we get so complacent with where we are?  What's wrong with being nice to people?  We are so selfish.  I want more.  I need to do more.  Lord, have mercy.  Don't people know you have to work to make things happen?  We are so lazy.  Why don't people want to work?  Who are we helping this year?  We have 200 churches stuck in every nook and cranny in one place and still can't come together to save people, help people, deliver people.  Where is the initiative?  People don't want change. Lord, what am I supposed to do?  What am I supposed to be doing? I'm sick of people talking and not doing.  I need to be doing something.  I need to be helping more.  I want to make a difference.  Maybe I'm the problem.  Maybe I just want to much. 

I was frustrated all the way to church.  When I arrived, the musicians were playing the music entirely too loud.  Frustrated.  I couldn't even think. I didn't notice the visitors in church.  I was just frustrated.

I had to talk to the minister and the Pastor.  The Pastor was frustrated too, but they told what I already knew.  You just have to pray for people, to not grow weary doing good, and be patient and wait on God to touch people's hearts.  Also let others see the God in you and let that be a hope and encouragement for others.  I'm not perfect and I really can't say that I strive towards it but I just want better for everybody and I want to be a light in somebody's darkness.  I just don't understand why some people don't seem to want that too.