Thursday, August 15, 2013

Oh God, It's School Picture Time!

A time where memories are captured, relived and cringed at upon receipt of the school pictures.

Moms everywhere work extra hard to make sure clothes are carefully chosen, hair is perfectly in place, and that smile is just perfect. You even practice it.

"Show me how you're going to smile on your pictures."

You say, "Smile big!" They look like Hannibal Lecter. "Okay, smile, but don't smile that big." They look like they're about to cry.

So you give up. Just smile, child. Smile. They either smile just right or they have absolutely no idea what you want from them. You have officially confused the child.

Lord please let this child take a good picture. Especially if I have to pay up front. So you send them off praying for a good picture, but this is what goes through your head all day.

"I should have let her wear something else. I hope they don't go to recess. Please, don't pull your hair. I wonder how they're going to smile. Will he forget how to smile? Those shoes don't look that good. I hope they don't get her feet. I know they're going to rush with all the kids they have to do. Please don't do anything that involves paint, markers, or eating. I hope he doesn't mess up his shirt. We might need to do retakes."

All before they've even taken and sent the pictures home. Lord, have mercy.

And that is why I stopped buying school pictures. Okay. Well, other than the fact that they are a billion open packets of pictures from preschool to soccer shots that should have been sent to Uncle Benny in California 10 years ago that he'll likely never receive.

So I started taking my own. I know what they look like. There are no hassle wardrobe changes, and I can do as many retakes as I want. Well, until we all start getting grouchy. Oh, and I can print what I need as needed.

Though, I still want to see what the pictures look like, I really don't care as much. If they're good, they're good. If they're not, it'll be a good laugh.