Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The " Everything But The Kitchen Sink" Purse

"That is a Coach pocketbook!" I hear my husband's voice in the back of my head as I'm digging through it searching for my phone. Years ago that would have actually meant something. A step into the world of fashion. However, today my poor purse has succumb to the woes of motherhood which has unleashed its wrath of crushed cookie litter fury. It has become nothing more than a fashionable, mobile recycling bin holding reusable and non reusable items. You know like when you pass the recycling bin and someone has thrown a potato chip bag in. That's it. I have decided to shamefully divulge the details of my fallen soilder and hope for the best.


Let's see what we have here.

1. A notebook. I have sworn to write down every penny I spend. Never mind the fact that I've missed yesterday.

2. On top of the notebook- receipts, a gift card, a bobby pin, and three tubes of mascara. I'm certain one is empty, one is in progress, and one is new but opened. However, the wand has taken a beaten.

3. Moving along. You see that pile of crumbs there. That pile that looks like I haven't wiped the kitchen table. No doubt the butchered remains of a POP Tart likely given to me by a toddler whose had enough.

4. A toy truck, an empty sucker stick, a hair Tye, $3.44 in change, a set of keys, and an eye shadow. I don't even wear eye shadow.

5. Body spray that I don't care for and am substituting for mase, a cow- we're learning animals, a bingo marker-we use for dot paint, lip gloss, and hand sanitizer.

6. Tired yet. An unsharpened eye liner-serving no purpose, a sharpie, and 6 pens. I find that rather shocking being that I never have anything to write with.

7. A cell phone-less case that is holding receipts from the dentist and doctor, pressed powder, an eye lash curler, coupons, keys and a zippered pouch containing more coupons. I really like coupons.

8. Finally, a checkbook- a visual reminder of how broke I am and a wallet stocked full of no, not money, but receipts of people who I allow to rob me blind.

All of that came from inside here.

It looks so happy and peaceful now. However, because it's almost time to go, I'll probably dump half of it back in and head out. I'll clean it out later. LOL