Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Epidemic That Is SpongeBob

There it is. I hear it. The theme song for SpongeBob. Caleb is singing along, "Bonbob Barebants, Bonbob Barebants." Well, actually he's screaming it. He has learned the song already. The kids don't even get to watch tv during the week but for maybe an hour a day. They can watch when the other one is in the tub and for a little while afterwards. (The weekends are slightly fair-game although we are hardly ever home.) And they always pick Spongebob. I've already limited their consumption of this non-microbial powerhouse. (They are getting some extra time today because I feel like crap and all thier activities seem to need me as the lead character.) Sometimes "Jessie" beats him out but usually it's this bacteria laden kitchen sponge...that talks. And he's everywhere...cups, plates, curtains, bed sets, movies. Everywhere. I hate spongebob. He drives me crazy. Everytime I pass him in a store, I feel like he is mocking me with that, oh-so-stupid laugh! And then there's Patrick. I'm practically ashamed I know their names, the whole cast of characters. But Patrick, Dear Lord. He should have hitched a ride with Dorthy on a quest for a brain. Can you say dumb and dumber? This is a PG kid friendly version of Beavis and Buthead that I'm convinced is going to turn children all over the world into nimkumpoops. Is that a real word? Well, it sounds crazy enough so it fits the profile. What exactly does it teach our children other than to act like complete idiots in public that we will condemn them for later. (or hang our heads in shame) Isn't that why sponges are considered lethal in the cleaning process? You simply cannot be cleaned with something stocked full of potentially hazardous germs. I bet he's in there right now soaking up their neurons. I had once felt like the kids were turning into Spongebob, which led us to take a one month hiatus from his ignorance. Shouldn't you limit your intake of stuff that isn't so good for you? I had to make them promise not to act like him because I was slowly turning into Squidward. What exactly is so appealing about him? He's almost scary looking, creepy even. It's almost as creepy looking as baby alive dolls and the elf on the shelf. Yes, I think they are creepy, cute but creepy. I bet they've all caused a lot of nightmares. It's just weird what grabs kids attention these days. Well actually, kids are just plain weird in general.