Thursday, May 29, 2014

Are You Kidding Me? ...And Other Randoms

You know those types of families that have everything put together? The ones that never seem to have anything wrong ever happen or rather they do an award winning job hiding it? The families that appear to have drama free, stress free, pinterest pinable lives and solutions to every problem imaginaeable?

Well, we are just not that type of family. What if I told you that after writing that last post "Strange Happenings" and telling you all about all that drama that there's more. Lol. Yes...more. What if I told you that after Caleb blackened his eye and knotted his head, and after Cate's week long stomach virus and busting her head, and a staph infected tweenager's week long stay in a hospital bed (I like rhyming words), that there's more.

What if I told you that after all of that, a lady kept driving but her light was red. Okay, I'm stopping with the rhyming words. I've got Dr. Seus on brain...oh and pain killers, lots of pain killers.

Caleb and I were on the way home from dropping daddy off when out of the blue sky, and apparently out of her mind, a woman just ran the light and hit us. We were green light GOING! As I saw it about to happen, I tried to turn and dodge her but we still hit. Most importantly, Caleb was uninjured in any way. I, however, slammed into the side of the door (whiplash) and had shoulder pain (no longer have) now have a limp, pinched nerve in my back that sometimes causes leg pain and my foot to swell, inflamed cartilage around my rib cage that occassionally causes pain when I breathe, misalignment in my neck and back vertebrae, and horrendous back pain. Horrendous!

Because I only had shoulder pain right off, I declined to go to the ER. However, by that afternoon and everyday afterwards, I felt like I was dying a slow death. Everything hurt. I've been to the doctor, ER and chiropractor with a referral to an orthopedic doctor as well.

So while I've been half slumped/half sitting for the past 2 weeks, I've made some astounding discoveries along with very randomn thoughts:
1. It's been almost a year since I last painted my toenails.
2. My legs will soon be auditioning for a role in Beowolf.
3. Flipflops are now an absolute necessity.
4. I got hit by a car with the words "make today ridiculously amazing" written on the back. How ridiculously ironic.
5. I shall no longer laugh at the word chiropractor. However, we have a love/hate relationship.

6. I'm pretty sure I have imprinted on my sofa.
7. Yelling Mama, Caleb's sitting by me is a way children show empathy to hurt parents.
8. Do not use this time to gain 10lbs. I repeat, do not use this time to gain 10lbs.
9. Children need jobs. It's summer. Why are they up so early?
10. I haven't done anything for my kids so far for summer. Thank you red light runner.( I did take them to VBS last week )
11. Ashy ankles and legs will be my signature trade mark.
12. It's going to take too dogone long for them to make the next Hobbit movie. Hurry Up.
13. My husband needs cooking lessons and an apron.
14. I'm not used to driving a clean car.
15. I should have got someone to clean the house.
16. I still hate taking medicine. Everytime I pop a pill, I keep envisioning one of those dreadful commercials asking, "Have you or your loved ones ever been prescribed the drug .......?"

It hurt to take this selfie. I finally put on clothes after lounging round in sweat pants forever and did my hair primarily because I have to keep going to the doctor. Otherwise, I'd look like crap.

I feel like crap though, but the show must go on. So I press my way through!