I Don't Do Dishes

Years ago, I used to look like this. I actually liked washing dishes. It was calming and relaxing, it made your hands baby bottom smooth, and your nails looked like you had just gotten a manicure. Besides, there were only a few then. Two plates, two cups, a bottle or two, a plastic kiddie plate, and a few utensils. (back when there was only one child) But now that there are 5 of us...and everybody seems to want to eat ALL THE TIME! My kitchen has become a bustling dine-in only eatery with, at times, one employee. The dishes have warped and multiplied into a pride eating mountain of madness. I can't stand it. I often stand in the middle of the kitchen looking at all the dirty dishes and busting gut bellies and think, "Well, the laborers sure are few. Why are all these folks reaping my harvest?"

My love for cooking has quickly taken a hit from my not so loved labor of doing the dishes. Somehow I will manage to clean almost everything in the house to avoid that horror. Of course I want a clean kitchen, but I just wish I could hire a maid to do that part. I've tried letting the kids perform this chore; however, I think they've watched "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" one too many times. You know the one where Roderick is showing Gregory how to get out of chores. Just do it completely wrong. I guess they don't like doing dishes either, especially when you have these:



THE SEVEN WORST DISHES TO WASH

1. BLENDER-SIMPLY BECAUSE I HAVE TO TAKE IT APART
2. FOOD PROCESSOR – FOR REASON ABOVE
3. A WOODEN SPOON – WITH CRUSTED FOOD ON IT.
4. A GRATER – ESPECIALLY AFTER SHREDDING CHEESE
5. THE CROCK POT – AFTER I FIGURE OUT WHERE TO DUMP
6. A DISH CONTAINING HOMEMADE MACARONI AND CHEESE
7. ANY BAKING DISH WHERE SAUCE, DRESSING, MARINADE, ETC WAS USED ON MEAT.


I think these are probably my worst ones. We weren't lucky enough to have a dishwasher and sadly I had to take on that grease-laden burden. However, in the near future when we are house hunting, one of my first questions will be "Where the hook-up?"